Wal Wallace bred himself a bull,
A picture of a beast.
You’d find no better, so he said
From way out west to east.
He bragged, “Im gonna take this thing
To every country show
And of my breeding expertise
The cockies all will know.”
But really, when its said and done,
If one should know the truth.
Wall Wallace couldn’t’t tell
between a cow’s horn and its hoof.
His luck was running good one year,
When his shire held its fair,
He won a service in a bet with some
Bull breeder there.
Turns out, that the bull at prize
Had won at Sydney show.
Its pedigree and family tree
all bull breeders would know.
And Wally’s bull, well really,
It would take no expertise
He’d take first prize in any show,
Would beat rest with ease.
Now jimmy smith, who lived next door,
Gave Wallace some advise,
A green horn with a beast like that,
Just wast very wise.
“It might be best to get some help,
Find someone who would know
Of how to handle beasts like that
When taking them to show.”
But Wallace scoffed at smithies words,
“You’re such a bloody sook,
Ill sort it out, Its all in this here
BULL EXIBITORS BOOK.”
Well he read the book from front to back
And what do you suppose,
It said he had to take the thing
And ring its mighty nose.
Now it wasn’t all that difficult,
It hardly even bleed.
This preliminary victory
Went straight to Wally’s head.
“As if I need a bloody hand,
I knew that id succeed,
The only thing that left to do
Is teach the thing to lead.”
So the very next task he undertook
With his confident persistence
Was to tie a pole to the bulls nose ring,
So as to lead it from a distance.
I seemed a fairly easy ask,
Wallis attached the stick.
The drama that unfolded next sure
Left him looking thick.
The bull began to shake his head,
He thrashed it side to side,
The timber swinging from his nose
Was tanning Wally’s hide.
It chased and pounded poor old wal
Across the cattle Yard,
He ducked and weaved and did his best
To dodge the the swishing shard.
But the bull was deadly accurate,
He flogged wal black and blue
His misses dear, who came to help
She copped a flogging too.
Now Wallis lies in hospital
As well his misses dear,
The bulls show days are over
He’s a handsome lookin steer.
So we should heed the lesson here
And take a closer look
There’s one way to get experience
And it’s not from a bloody book
Don’t be too smart to ask for help
It might just save your life,
Or at the barest minimum
Spare you a load of strife.
By Scott Brodie